My cats are assholes. I mean, I love them but they do really assholish things, the biggest of which is running outside behind people when they are going out. I have tried several times to reason with them and tell them that they are indoor cats, but they just stare at me. The other day one of the cats ran out behind me and I said, "Screw it!" and didn't run to catch her this time, figuring I was busy and she would come back eventually. I was going out to my Grampa's house for lunch and was already running late, so I let the kids know that one of the cats was outside and to watch out for her.
An hour or so later, while I was at my visit, I got a phone call from my kids. Now the damn cat was in a tree. Great. They were freaking out, so I told them not to worry, that she would come down on her own. When I got home later, the cat was STILL in the tree, looking down meowing at me from 30 feet up.
"Indigo, what are you doing up there?"
MEOW
"Indigo, get down here"
MEOW
"Indigo! Quit fooling around and get out of that tree right now!"
MEOW MEOW MEOW
Great again. I got out my questionably trusty aluminum step ladder and put it up against the tree. She was way out on a high branch, and she would come to the fork in the branch but wouldn't come down the trunk to me. She would get to that fork and get scared as it was straight down toward me, and i could see she sure wasn't going there. After 15 minutes of begging and calling, I decided I needed a new plan.
I went inside and called the fire department.
Me: Yeah, hi, how much would you charge me to get my cat out of a tree?
FD: Ummm we don't do that anymore. Try some treats
Me: Done
FD: Oh. Well she'll come down on her own eventually
Me: I don't think so
FD: Here's the number for the SPCA. Maybe they can coax her down.
So I called the SPCA.
Me: Hi, I can't get my cat out of a tree and I wondered if you could help me
SPCA: Try some treats.
Me: Done
SPCA: I'm sure she will come down on her own. We dont' have the resources to help you so here's the number for a tree cutter downer
Me: *sigh* ok
Next, I asked my Facebook friends if anyone had an extension ladder I could borrow. And then I waited. The entire time there was a constant MEOW from the damn cat in the tree outside, and a constant MEOW from the damn cats answering her from in my house. I got the ladder from a friend, and drove it back to my house with my four ways on while the ladder hung out of the back of the open hatch of my van, secured by the head rest of the seat through the rungs, and a seatbelt wrapped around the end. Once I got the ladder home, I put it up against the tree and got an athletic looking neighbour boy to climb it to try to get my cat. YES!! He got close enough to her to grab her by the collar! The special snap away collar that I bought so that if she ever got caught on anything, it would immediately come off of her neck so she wouldn't strangle to death. Yeah. It snapped off. He hung his head in frustration. By this time I had five other neighbours trying to help me, and athletic ladder-climbing neighbour boy had to go.
The rest of us tried to get her to move the direction we wanted her to on the branch by spraying her with water. I tried my little spray bottle. Surprisingly enough, the handy dandy spray bottle wouldn't spray thirty feet up. Soooo out came the hose. I squirted the water toward her bum to get her moving on the branch. Nothing. I sprayed her right on her bum and she moved the opposite way that I wanted. I tried to coerce her to go the other way with more spraying. She went the way I wanted her to, but now she was soaking wet and meowing at me with fear in her poor little eyes.
All during this, another handy neighbour had fashioned a hook to pull the branch down, since she was on the end of the branch now and closer to the ground. We set the big ladder up at the fence that was under the end of the branch she was on, and got the littlest neighbour lady up the ladder to try to get her. Her arms were too short, so the kitty was just out of reach for her. Next we got my somewhat athletic son up on the ladder. He couldn't reach her either, and as I told him to just climb up higher while little lady neighbour was spraying the cat with the hose, the fence holding the ladder gave a big crack and the top of it supporting the ladder broke, sending my son scrambling down in a big hurry. At the same time, the hook holding the branch down let go and the cat fell out of the tree, hit the ground and ran like Hell. We found her and picked her up and wrapped her in a nice fuzzy towel to dry her off.
For the next couple of days Indigo wouldn't sleep on my bed, but on the floor beside my bed. And she would continuously bring me her "baby" (a stuffed chick that she likes to carry around in her mouth), and drop it at my feet. And I cuddled her and kissed her head and told her I forgave her. Wouldn't you??
