Letters to Myself: Past, Present and Future

Dear 6 year old Paula,

It's ok to not fit in.

It's ok to like to play alone.

It's ok to not know how to play with other kids or not know what to say to them.

It's ok to just not understand people

If you try hard enough and believe strongly enough, you really can ride your bike as fast as the wind.

Your parents are doing the best that they know how.

Dear 14 year old Paula,

It's ok to not fit in.

Yes getting drunk is fun, but don't do it all the time.

It's ok to be unsure of yourself.

The people who make fun of you, or put you down are just as unsure of themselves as you are. In 20 years, 99% of them with either not remember what they said (or did) to you, or wish they hadn't done the things they did. Honest.

Try not to take everything so personally. It's mostly about them, not you. A bad day can offset anyone's mood. You have no idea what's really going on in someone else's life or in their head.

Suicide is not the answer.

Your parents are doing the best that they know how.

Dear 24 year old Paula,

It's ok to not fit in.

Some day you will look back on all the things you've gone through and realize how strong you were, even if you don't feel strong in the moment.

In the not so distant future you will find yourself vacuuming and be unconcerned as to whether that brown mark on the floor is chocolate or poop. Having children makes you that much less squeamish.

You really do accept the love you think you deserve. You don't have to settle. Ever.

You are a part of the universe, made of starstuff. You are an important part of this universe and the history of it. Without you, there would be many different outcomes for many different people.

Suicide is not the answer.

Your parents are doing the best that they know how.

Dear 40 year old Paula,

It's ok to not fit in.

Your identity is not the number on the scale.

Enjoy yourself. Don't be so serious.

Enjoy your children. They won't be with you forever, nor you with them.

The things that you worry about now will probably seem insignificant in 10 years.

I know you never thought you'd get this old, but you have. Wrinkles and silver hair are a natural part of aging. If you don't get over it, you are going to self destruct.

Don't forget when you're awake in the middle of the night thinking about what could have been, that broken hearts heal, and the things you think are going to haunt you forever often don't.

Your parents did the best that they knew how.

Dear 60 year old Paula,

It's ok to not fit in.

I hope your kids are not still living with you.

I hope you are finding more time for yourself.

I hope you are doing things that you love.

I hope that you wrote the book you had been pondering over for so many years.

Your parents did the best that they knew how.

Dear 85 year old Paula,

It's ok to have never fit in.

I hope you got to retire at a decent age, and I hope you're not doing anything right now but the things you love the best.

I hope that you call or see your kids often. I wonder if you have grandchildren now.

I hope you finally found true love and kept it. I hope you had someone to share your life with, and grew old with them.

I hope you forgave yourself for not ever feeling like a good enough parent, and I hope your children know that you did the best that you knew how.

Dear Canada Post....

I was at work last week when a coworker mentioned to me that Canada Post was planning on implementing some major changes in the New Year. Of course just had to I read up on these changes, which will directly affect me, and I stewed about it all for a little while. The reasoning behind these changes is that they are losing so much money to the era of email and internet that they can't afford not to take these steps. I'm sure said coworker wishes she had never mentioned anything to me, as I was like a dog with a bone on this topic for our entire four shifts. That's four shifts in a row that we work together, side by side. Imagine it: forty-eight long hours of listening to me. (Sorry Michele!!)

For those not familiar with what's going on, Canada Post is planning on raising the price of the current 63 cent stamp to 85 cents if you buy them in a package of multiple stamps, or $1 if they are bought separately. That's one dollar to mail a card or a letter. They are also planning to phase out door to door deliveries in urban areas, opting instead to throw up a bunch of those nasty looking walls of mail boxes. One point that was made to me about the big mail box wall was that they have the possiblity of building community. The opportunity is there to meet your neighbours while getting the mail, or getting the mail for a neighbour who may not be able to get it for themselves. I'm still a bit skeptical about the big wall of boxes, but I can totally respect the idea of growing a community.

My original "rant" regarding the implementation of these ideas had been a simple status on Facebook. However, I got so many texts and messages supporting my idea that I thought I'd turn it into a blog and send it directly to Canada Post at the urging some good friends. (Thanks Christa and Mike!)

So here's my idea in a nutshell:

Dear Canada Post,

I understand that you have fallen on hard times. The world is moving so fast now, and everyone wants instant gratification that you can't deliver (forgive the pun). This is the generation of immediate responses and split second mail via text message, email, and Skype. I get it, and I feel for you. Even I have to admit, I will never go back to doing such tasks as paying my bills by mail when online banking is just so darn convenient. But maybe instead of jumping straight to your aforementioned plan of attack you could take a different approach?

How about making a whole campaign promoting a slowdown of society? Make an ad focusing on the smile on someone's face when they receive an actual letter in the mail. What about the feeling of receiving a tangible card in the mail instead of a post on Facebook? Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate my Facebook messages and well wishes, I truly do, but I haven't had a letter written to me in years and I would be absolutely thrilled to receive one.

That being said, I have letters that I keep in a little box in my closet. They were sent to me from my first boyfriend when I was 16 years old and he was 19 years old. He was at university and I was still in high school, and it was the most cost effective way to communicate at that time. I can't even describe the anticipation I felt waiting for his letters to come, and the butterflies in my stomach on the day his letter would arrive. I know I wouldn't still have an email or a text message from 24 years ago. Let's promote the romanticism of the love letter, and the thoughtfulness of the handwritten word. Just a thought.