Wow just I realized I haven't written anything at all for my blog in over a month. No, no it's not what you're thinking. It's not because I've got a whole lot of nothing to write about. It's not because I'm so deep in the depths of depression that I couldn't dig my way out and make it to the computer. It's because I have a new job. Oh, I still have my full time nurse job, but now I have a second full time job as well. But first, a little back story:
I left the online dating scene a few months ago. Probably close to a year ago, actually. I can describe it as nothing less than a simply freeing experience; it felt wonderful. I spent less time sitting in front of the computer doing a lot of cyber chat, and more time out in the world interacting with people face to face. Last year while I was newly out in the land of the living, I met Rob at a Halloween party, and fell madly in lust with him. I mean, deeply, madly, crazy in lust. The kind of lust where you think of that person when you first wake up and again before you go to sleep, and more than a few times in between. I felt like a teenager again with that giddy, butterfly-y, always wanting to be together feeling. And we did spend a lot of time together, and we learned tons about each other. The more I learned about him and got to know him, the more I liked him. I was on the brink of the big L. I mean it was on the tip of my tongue. But I held back because if I know one thing about myself, it's that when someone catches my fancy I love hard and fast. I thought that I should pace myself and not come too quickly out of the starting gate. Then we spent a great night away a few days before Christmas that cemented my feelings for him. Shortly afterward he broke up with me, and I fell hard. Apparently he was not so much on the brink with me, as he reconciled with, and went back to, his ex girlfriend. We remained friends afterward, hanging out (in public places, of course). Him just obliviously having fun, and me self destructively soaking up his essence. In what I can only describe as something that was best for both of us, Rob moved to Taiwan. It was a preplanned move on his part and nothing to do with me, but I can retrospectively see the distance as a blessing. By then I had cocooned myself so snuggly and comfortably in Rob-land that I hadn't felt the need to socialize outside of our small circle of two in quite a few months. I was isolated, I was lonely, and I one night I decided to throw myself back in to the world of online dating. Again.
I signed up for Plenty of Fish. Mostly because, although I was lonely, I didn't feel that I was serious enough about meeting anyone to actually put out my hard earned money on Lifemates or Match.com to do so. Nuh uh...no way. My credit card was staying put, thank you. The free site would do me fine. I decided to be totally honest about myself on my PoF profile. I talked about how I'm socially awkward, I ask invasive questions without realizing they are invasive, I lose my keys several times a day, I love to write and paint, I love to hike, I don't work out as much as I would like to, I say random things that people think are funny but I'm being serious, my love for my plethora of tattoos. I laid it all out, my loves and my quirks. And then something happened that had never happened all the other times I'd been on the site. I started getting messages. Like, a lot of messages. A lot. I like to attribute them to my new short hair pictures, because my long hair pictures certainly never garnered this much attention.
My friends laugh at me because I refer to answering messages on PoF as my new full time job, which is exactly what it feels like. I'm not saying this as a bragging right, as much of the attention is certainly not appreciated. On one hand I am talking to a few nice guys who are definitely 100% respectful and sweet. On the flip side, I now have enough penis pictures to make an entire penis scrapbook. Not that I would make a penis scrapbook but if I wanted to, I've got the goods to do so. And it's not that I don't like penises, but certainly if I haven't spoken to you or seen your face yet, that's probably my first priority. I also thought about starting a notebook with the user names and life details of the men who contact me, as it is difficult to keep them all straight, especially when there is no picture on their profile. If it is not someone I've met face to face or that I am texting with I find myself asking, "Is this the guy from Barrie or the guy from Midland....or was he from Toronto? Is this the guy who loves rock climbing, or the guy who runs....or the guy who watches sports on TV?" It all gets very confusing after a while.
So far it's proving to be an intensely entertaining experience, and if nothing else I'm going to make new friends along the way.
PS: I may be hiring a secretary to answer my emails soon. Any takers?
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