The Non Religious Guide to Prayer

I read something the other day that really resonated with me. A sentence within an article basically said that we should make healthy decisions not only for our body, but for our mind. That's kind of thought provoking, don't you think? We don't talk a lot about the taboo of mental health, but that's exactly what I perceived the author to be saying. We always think of our dietary intake and our exercise as being the healthy habits to concentrate on, but what about our mind? Yes, there are things like meditation (which I do) and affirmations (which I also do), but what about something a bit more mainstream? How about not making yourself feel like shit for not being over-the-rainbow-happy every day, and feeling there's something wrong with you because of that? How about not comparing your body, which is perfectly beautiful, to the supermodel in that magazine? How about just staying in bed because you feel you need to that day? How about just being kind to yourself a few times a day when those ugly thoughts pop into your head. Yeah, those thoughts. The ones that feel like they've always been with you, and they have been there so long that you aren't sure where or how they originated. Just give yourself the freedom to not berate yourself for feeling less than stellar every single day in this age of "if you're not happy, you're obviously not grateful". Some days I feel like shit, but that doesn't mean I don't love my family and it doesn't mean I am not grateful to have a home to shelter me and food to fill me.

Another thing that has been shown to be good for mental health is praying. The thing is you won't find me in any church pew pouring my heart out. That's just not me, and if I was to do that I would be so uncomfortable that it wouldn't do me any good anyway. I think that praying is really about giving yourself a break, unshouldering your burdens, and searching for answers, and if that is the case, there are other ways to pray. Always pray with an attitude of self love and self care. That does not mean getting plastered! Treat yourself with love, like you would treat the five-year-old you. Look at a five-year-old. They are innocent and curious, wanting nothing more than to laugh and be loved. Pray in ways that that still your mind. Take a nap. Have a bath when your body needs one. Go for a run. Write in your journal. Talk with a friend. Go hiking. For hours. Be in nature. Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

What ways do you pray?

The Secret of Sadness

I have a secret. It's kind of surprising to some people, as I often spout a lot of super positive and supportive messages to friends and strangers alike. In actuality, I have to put an effort into being "up", and when I am it is glorious. Once I get myself to that place where I am happy, I feel like I literally cannot contain it. I feel as if the joy is going to burst from my chest and I have to admit, it is truly, incredibly fantastic. But on the flip side, sometimes I get sad. I mean inconceivably, depressingly, debilitatingly melancholy. I'm not sure whether it's due to some kind of hormonal shift that rivals a nuclear fallout, or whether it's because I've had a couple of days in a row that just purely sucked, but I get that kind of "I don't feel that I can go on" grief deep within me. I just want to be alone, and to put my life on pause in order to deal with it. This big sad usually only lasts for two or three days before I feel on top of the world again, but it is a major pain in the ass while it is within me and I have to go out and be among others.

I found this circulating around on the internet the other day, and it was then that I discovered I'm not alone. I just can't possibly be alone because someone I don't know, have never met and will probably never meet, made this. And the person who made this put it out there to circulate for other people so that they would know they are not alone, and for that I am so grateful. I hope that others see it and get comfort from it as well.

 



The truth of the matter is situations always, ALWAYS get better if you give them a chance. The outcome might not be what you wanted, but that downbeat will turn around eventually. People sometimes berate themselves for having negative feelings, and when that happens the negativity just holds on for longer. Unfortunately that is the exact opposite of what we all hope for. When we try to push the negative away because we are told we are always supposed to think our positive thoughts, and are always supposed to be upbeat, that shitstorm of emotion comes back twice as strong. We can't get rid of the bad stuff until we give ourselves a chance to deal with it and to really experience it. I'm not talking about those people (and let's face it, we all know one or two of these people) who bitch and complain about everything and put everyone down because their outlook on life (and probably of themselves) is so crappy that they don't know of any other way of being. I also don't mean for everyone to sit around and mope for months on end. I'm talking about letting yourself feel your loneliness/melancholy/resentment/bitterness. Really allow yourself to feel the intensity of it, let yourself get right into it, maybe meditate on it for a while, and then release it. Yeah, I said release it. Let it the fuck go, because although those feelings are pretty normal to have crop up every once in a while, if you hold on to them they will eat you alive. Do it symbolically if you need to. Send a balloon up in the air, write it all down and then burn it, run hard and fast until you've sweated/breathed/puked it out. Just rid yourself of it and move on.

Don't look back, just close your eyes and fill that space where the negative was with love and light. Be consistently grateful for your life and everything in it, drop the judgment, view everyone with new and forgiving eyes, and I promise you the joy you experience will be incredible beyond your imagination.