The Secret of Sadness

I have a secret. It's kind of surprising to some people, as I often spout a lot of super positive and supportive messages to friends and strangers alike. In actuality, I have to put an effort into being "up", and when I am it is glorious. Once I get myself to that place where I am happy, I feel like I literally cannot contain it. I feel as if the joy is going to burst from my chest and I have to admit, it is truly, incredibly fantastic. But on the flip side, sometimes I get sad. I mean inconceivably, depressingly, debilitatingly melancholy. I'm not sure whether it's due to some kind of hormonal shift that rivals a nuclear fallout, or whether it's because I've had a couple of days in a row that just purely sucked, but I get that kind of "I don't feel that I can go on" grief deep within me. I just want to be alone, and to put my life on pause in order to deal with it. This big sad usually only lasts for two or three days before I feel on top of the world again, but it is a major pain in the ass while it is within me and I have to go out and be among others.

I found this circulating around on the internet the other day, and it was then that I discovered I'm not alone. I just can't possibly be alone because someone I don't know, have never met and will probably never meet, made this. And the person who made this put it out there to circulate for other people so that they would know they are not alone, and for that I am so grateful. I hope that others see it and get comfort from it as well.

 



The truth of the matter is situations always, ALWAYS get better if you give them a chance. The outcome might not be what you wanted, but that downbeat will turn around eventually. People sometimes berate themselves for having negative feelings, and when that happens the negativity just holds on for longer. Unfortunately that is the exact opposite of what we all hope for. When we try to push the negative away because we are told we are always supposed to think our positive thoughts, and are always supposed to be upbeat, that shitstorm of emotion comes back twice as strong. We can't get rid of the bad stuff until we give ourselves a chance to deal with it and to really experience it. I'm not talking about those people (and let's face it, we all know one or two of these people) who bitch and complain about everything and put everyone down because their outlook on life (and probably of themselves) is so crappy that they don't know of any other way of being. I also don't mean for everyone to sit around and mope for months on end. I'm talking about letting yourself feel your loneliness/melancholy/resentment/bitterness. Really allow yourself to feel the intensity of it, let yourself get right into it, maybe meditate on it for a while, and then release it. Yeah, I said release it. Let it the fuck go, because although those feelings are pretty normal to have crop up every once in a while, if you hold on to them they will eat you alive. Do it symbolically if you need to. Send a balloon up in the air, write it all down and then burn it, run hard and fast until you've sweated/breathed/puked it out. Just rid yourself of it and move on.

Don't look back, just close your eyes and fill that space where the negative was with love and light. Be consistently grateful for your life and everything in it, drop the judgment, view everyone with new and forgiving eyes, and I promise you the joy you experience will be incredible beyond your imagination.